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Sunday, 21 April 2013

The Fat Lady Sings At Leeds United


It was always a near impossible ask, but the Official Site boasted "You never know what could happen" earlier this week, so confirmation that Leeds cannot now make it into the playoffs must be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Cup victories apart - and both Cup runs ended in crushing defeats - this has been a season of massive disappointment.

Hopes were so high in the summer. There was talk of a Man City style take over, of billions of pounds flooding through an oil pipe line directly into the Warnock's transfer coffers. Master Bates was going. The glory, glory days were returning.

Even as yard dog after yard dog responded to the Warnock's whistle and Captain Snakeinthegrass joined the Exodus to Norwich, the Leeds faithful remained, well, delusional. This was the year. This was the beginning of the new era. The Championship was at Leeds United's mercy!

True the take over was taking longer than expected, true there were question marks over GFH Capital when the cloak of secrecy was, belatedly, removed, true the Warnock's recruits were every bit as average as the saner voices suggested, true Leeds couldn't win away and couldn't climb higher than eighth in the table, but no matter, the Arabs were going to give Old Big Gob a warchest of £8m, Becchio was going nowhere and Leeds were going to charge into the play offs. Oh and Bates would sod off for good.

Even when Bates was given the Presidency, even when Becchio departed, even when GFH Capital made a profit from transfer dealings in January, even when more yard dogs, like Warnock Junior and Morison arrived, the faithful remained, well deranged. This was the season. Easy run in. Goal Machine Morison better than Becchio. Warnock Junior an England left back. GFH Capital keeping money dry for next season in the Prem.

True eighth remained a glass ceiling. True results only showed a slight upward blip. True Leeds couldn't score goals. True the Warnock was floundering and GFH Capital sat on their hands. True the parent company suggested they were looking to offload the white camel of a football club but never mind, Leeds could still do it, the Leeds faithful remained, well, in denial.

But after yesterday's defeat at Birmingham, the fat woman can at last sing at Elland Road. But hang on is it a woman? Is it a marque tent rather than a marque signing? Or is it Ken Bates in drag singing Marching on Together?

But don't worry, be happy, the Messiah McDermott is now in charge, Byram won't be sold, GFH Capital will reveal their transfer war chest soon, next year will be the year...so, Singing On Together now...

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...


And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.


And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.


So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.


And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at Portsmouth, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

39 comments:

  1. Go bend over for Big Sam.

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  2. Big Sam and his no under head height rule,Karen Peschisolido - Brady (especially her), moving to a huge athletics stadium you can neither fill or afford, Andy Carrol, just 4 reasons I'd still rather be a Leeds fan than a ham and egger and that's despite the horrendous season we've had, the Bates saga and the arab owners.

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  3. Maybe if you are really, really good, do what mummy says from now until xmas, eat all your greens etc we will let you have Steve Warnock.Just try not to pee your pants with excitement.We all know how much you wanted him and seeing as you are gonna have to give your favourite rocking horse back to hubcaps and drain covers fc you are going to need something to cheer you up. xxx

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  4. say what you want watch leeds fans yesterday on 101 great goals and thats why we are the greatest fans in the world. no matter what MOT

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  5. Now the seasons over does this mean your going to stop boring everyone with your hard on for Leeds united?

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  6. who you keeping an eye on next season??? got a feeling you will be back! just like us once you get the LEEDS UTD BUG you cant give it up ! you carry on being a DICK and we will carry on being LEEDS! no probs for you next season the 3 team who are going up are wank for us it will be a long hard road as ever maybe it will be are season who knows?

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  7. toss pot,west ham faggot

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  8. Does your family not miss you!

    All this time you spend creating content for your blog could be spend with them!

    Do yourself a favour, re evaluate your priorities.

    Btw I love reading the stuff think it pretty good, but seriously if I were you I would start to question my motives.

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    Replies
    1. Cheers and thanks for the concern. The wife is beside me at the moment, spreading honey on my bread and serving me cold beer (it is 1pm out here!). TV is on and I can multi-task, watching and responding on here. Glad you like the content.

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    2. talking shit again hf

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    3. If, by "wife", you mean your right hand, then I believe you.

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    4. Did you buy your wife?

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    5. Is that why you hate him he was going to buy her first

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  9. Tell me one thing cockney boy.which other teams do u blog about,apart from west ham,and the mighty whites.?????u will be back next year.i would miss the idle banter.

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    Replies
    1. Let's see shall we. If Leeds settle into mid table mediocrity, not much point. If it is an exciting season, one way or another, then yes.

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  10. IS THE FAT LADY YOUR UGLY WIFE?

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    Replies
    1. Sorry to disappoint. She is a size 8.

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    2. let us see a photo

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    3. 8??? THATS a bit old for you?

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    4. bs I saw pic you posted last week she was as wide as double-decker bus and looked like she'd been hit by one too.
      that's why your always watchin leeds pussy hammers as shite ugly fat wife what more can one say

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    5. Did you say, he is 8, I believe you for once

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  11. The life of a passionate football fan ! The roller coaster life of a passionate Leeds United fan ! Unfortunately thats life my friend. To have billions with the expectations of winning every game is not real life. Life is about ups and downs and it is all in the name....... UNITED. I have seen Revie and Bremner to O'leary and Batty inc Wilkinson and Cantona. Great memories. There will be many more...... Get over yourself.

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  12. I hope for fans like you that there are. McDermott is a nice guy and wants to ditch the Nasty Leeds tag. I wish him well too. SOT

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  13. did you sing that song to your papa when he was on his deathbed rotting of cancer? hahahaha

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    Replies
    1. Sick bastard, no need for that at all.

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    2. 15.10 you can get it aswel

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  14. brian will now know that the job is not a molehill but a mountain,but i would put my money on him to bring success to leeds

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  15. Is your wife a lot younger than you? You're an old fart as we know
    Probably explains why you are in Romania, living with your mail order bride
    Try not to catch her eye next time you're giving her her weekly two minutes of pleasure. She probably cant keep the disgust off her face having to shag a wrinkly old fart like you.

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  16. that song of yours aint as good as the hammers anthem,im forever blowing spunk bubbles in the air

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  17. hf it cant be fun getting ripped to pieces on here every single day!

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  18. He's got more front than Sarrrfennd that Hammersfan....

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  19. You were a mistake

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  20. So, your idea of impressive is being served honey on bread with beer by an invented size 8 Romanian whilst watching TV and blogging about Leeds.

    To a normal person, how does that make you look HF? That you cannot see tells us everything!

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  21. "but the Official Site boasted "You never know what could happen" earlier this week, so confirmation that Leeds cannot now make it into the playoffs must be a bitter pill to swallow."

    Eh ? 'Boasted' ? 'Official Site' ??? It was an interview with a young player, the quote was from him, not the club, and how on earth was he 'boasting' ?? Idiot ...

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  22. Was in london for a couple of work days. Had a few beers at night. Did not see one west ham shirt. Lots of gunners and chelsea. Had to ask one bloke are west ham a london team. All he said back to me was west who.

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  23. As a leeds fan I love reading this column..why do the leeds fans take the bait! Whats more annoying than anything is that most of whats been said you cant argue with. The above is spot on in my opinion, thats how our season has gone. Lets get some stability in the club and see where that takes us.

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  24. I bet she's the same shape as a number 8 !!
    Super Leeds united ....

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