The Game's Gone Crazier

For all the latest on the exploits of Uncle Festa, Godfather Cellino, Friar Brian, Old Big Gob, GianFredo Zola, Butterfingers Green, 'Arry the Albatross, The Grand Puppet Master, Il Duce Di Canio, Timmy Sherwood and a cast of thousands!

Friday, 31 January 2014

McCormack to leave Leeds before the window closes?

It aint over till the fat keeper sings, and  Podgy Kenny is only gargling as we speak. Leeds rejected West Ham's £3.5m bid for Ross McCormack earlier this week, but there was still a chance that the takeover might be salvaged at that point. Now, GFH Capital may look differently at any offer they receive for the Scot.

West Ham are looking elsewhere, of course, with a whole host of players being linked to the club as Sullivan & Gold try desperately to secure Premiership survival. But West Ham are not the only potential bidders. Leicester and QPR may think that a proven Championship player would be a good investment ahead of their last lap sprint for the Prem. And meanwhile, Norwich City could yet decide to add to their Leeds Foreign Legion.

And McCormack may now fancy a move away following the farcical collapse of the takeover. He knows now that Leeds are going nowhere this season, and with another period of uncertainty probable, he may well consider it unwise to hang around.

Once again, Leeds fans will watch the close of the window with a sense of trepidation rather than excitement: Becchio buggered off last year; and McCormack could yet follow him!

Thursday, 30 January 2014

Is Levy quietly relieved after Manchester City's thumping of Tottenham Hotspur?

Things were getting just a little bit awkward at White Hart Lane following the desperate appointment of Timmy Sherwood. The game plan was surely for Sherwood to squeak Spurs into a Champions League place, or into the Your Ropey League, but to leave sufficient question marks over his leadership qualities for Levy to feel justified in replacing him with a big name from abroad after the World Cup.

But bloody Timmy wouldn't play ball. True his start was a little bit shaky, not least because of that Capital One Fan Cup exit to West Ham, but then the team went on a roll, and victory at Old Trafford had Spurs fans ejaculating over their breakfast kippers.

Spurs suddenly climbed the table, and with Moyeschester United disintegrating before Ferguson's scowling eyes, hope suddenly sprang eternal. Timmy was actually leading Tottenham to the Promised Land. Great for the short term, but a bloody nuisance with major team rebuilding scheduled for the summer. Fair enough to entrust a lost cause to Timmy, but to let him spend upward of £50m in the summer, well that would be frankly ridiculous!

But with Manchester City completing an 11-1 aggregate win over Spurs in the League, Levy now has his excuse for shunting Sherwood on in the summer.  Cue the "Done a great job but when we found ourselves up against the best, Tim was found a little wanting in the tactical department" speech ahead of a certain Dutch man being ushered around the Spurs managerial revolving door.

So Timmy Time ticked down several heart beats as Manchester City smashed home five goals. True Spurs were reduced to 10 men, but that didn't help AVB did it? And Timmy won't command the huge pay off that his over rated predecessor benefitted from. It's sad, but Timmy is simply keeping the manager's seat warm; and sadder still that the poor sod doesn't seem to realise it!

Manchester United Director Linked with Bid for Leeds United

You couldn't write it could you? With Haigh's proposed takeover collapsing because his employers GFH Capital have reneged on an agreement, and Cellino circling like a burglar hoping to creep in through a fanlight window inadvertently left open, Manchester United director Mike Farnan is now said to be heading up a consortium interested in buying Leeds. Talk about a marriage made in hell for Leeds fans!

Perhaps Mahmoud Ahmadinejad should stand in the next Israeli elections or Ed Balls should offer his services to Cameron as a replacement for Gorgie Porgie Osborne! Just imagine, a Manchester United director owning Leeds United!

But Leeds fans shouldn't over react. This may be a way forward. Given this lead by Farnan, the Mancs might buy the club lock, stock and sawn off barrels, and turn Leeds into a nursery team. Like that, Leeds fans could expect to see some great young talent playing at Elland Road even if the club never makes it back to the Prem!

And that has to be a better bet than Cellino who is rumoured to want to close the Academy!

Marching on Together with Manchester United has a certain ring about it, don't you think?

Cellino would turn Leeds United into a comedy horror show

So Cellino wanted to put Uncle Festa in the dugout for the Ipswich game, and that's before he has bought a stake in the club. That should tell Leeds fans all they need to know about the guy. How long before the rest of the Addams family join the club? Still, the namesake of Uncle Fester, the man with the deranged smile, has at least written an appropriately named book - "Silent Death"!

McDermott has answered my blog from yesterday, giving assurances that he would never walk out on the fans and LUST have joined the love in, giving the Bald Controller a vote of confidence; for what worth that is!  But Friar Brian knows his days will be numbered if Cellino takes control of the club - this guy sacks managers like Mike Gatting eats pies, and he clearly doesn't rate McDermott given he was so anxious to put his own man in the dug out even ahead of buying a stake in the club.

McDermott has already talked about unacceptable interference, and there really is no point in him hanging around if he is nothing more than a figure head waiting to be chopped off. Like the Pozzos at Watford, Cellino will want to flood the club with Italians; and ability and merit will count for nothing. It's all down to Family Business you see, Addams Family business for as long as Uncle Fester is involved.

Of course, before he can take control, the dodgy Italian has to pass the fit and proper person test, and given he has been done for fraud twice, that won't be a forgone conclusion. So a messy period of uncertainly seems almost certain, and that can only be bad news for McDermott and his team.

But for the bloggers it will great fun. When will Pugsley and Wednesday graduate from the youth team? What about Pubert, Thing, Cousin Itt and Lurch?

Personally I can't wait!

All aboard the Leeds United Ghost Train to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity & Beyond!

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Will McDermott resign his position as manager of Leeds?

Leeds fans must be wondering when the club will next win a game. True, a share of the points with Ipswich is not a disastrous result but all the pre Christmas optimism has now evaporated and it looks like being an unremarkable season of mid table obscurity. Automatic promotion is now an impossible dream, and with the play off pack 8 points ahead, hopes of squeaking into the Premiership via the back door are fading fast too. Even Warnock's team offered a more sustained challenge than this!

Mind you, Warnock's team was on show against Ipswich as McDermott reverted to Old Big Gob's yard dogs once again in his increasingly desperate search for a winning formula - and it still needed a penalty to avoid a home defeat!

So where does the Bald Controller go from here exactly? If he has any sense, he will head for the exit door before he is pushed through it. The promised takeover looks dead in the water, and the Feel Good Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond has been renamed the Fiasco Express. All aboard for a round trip to nowhere! Except maybe administration!

Or worse still, Cellino could take charge. And then McDermott would know his number was up for sure! But at least he would receive a payoff when sacked I suppose!

It is an undignified mess once again and Leeds fans must be close to despair.

Friday, 24 January 2014

West Ham & Leeds fans united in hoping McCormack deal isn't done!

Times may be desperate, but they surely can't be THAT desperate!

OK we have bought some shit down the years, but buying Ross McCormack would really take the biscuit - providing Benni McCarthy didn't eat those left behind by cookie magnet Eggert Magnusson and the barrel has been kept hidden from Allardyce.

True the Scot has banged in a few goals in the Championship but how many players are capable of making the step up? And he's no spring chicken is he?

It doesn't take a high wattage bulb to shine in the darkness, and in the current Leeds team, a Lions Midget Gem would shine like the Koh-I-Noor. Good God, when you are compared with the likes of Podgy Kenny, Warnock Junior, Reg Varney, Shit Brown and Hell Hadji, you'd have to have two prosphetic left legs and be right footed not to stand out from the crowd.

If we are really interested in him then it can only be because we are planning for next season in the Championship. McCormack has Ted MacDougall and Derek Hales stamped all over him, a decent player in the lower divisions but hopelessly out of his depth in the top tier.

And as hard up as Leeds are, they won't sell him for what he is worth which is somewhere between £1.5m and £2m.

Leave well alone for God's sake - just look at what Becchio has "achieved" at Norwich!

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Leeds United Star On The Undateables!

Ray and two other Undateables
How appropriate! With GFH Capital struggling to find a suitor, and the fans falling out of love with the Messiah McDermott, it was deliciously hilarious to see the club featuring so prominently on Channel Four's The Undateables tonight.

You had to love Ray and his date, especially when the life long Leeds fan displayed utter dismay as the second love of his life started chanting "Barnsley! Barnsley!" mid way through the game, not appreciating that she was cheering on the wrong team. Classic stuff!

And to rub salt into Ray's wounds, the mighty Whites lost the game 2-1 at home to the terrible Tykes!

Was it wrong to laugh? If so, it was wrong to carry the clip on TV, because poor Ray's face summed up the last 20 years of hurt endured by Leeds fans - he simply could not believe that his date was cheering on Barnsley!

The programme is still on and I hope, upon hope, that Ray has found lasting happiness with the woman of his dreams because, God knows, supporting Leeds is a big enough cross to carry through life!

The McDermott Revolution is over at Leeds

Oh dear, talk about hitting the panic button! After arriving like a breath of fresh air, Friar Brian has apparently lost his nerve and against Leicester turned the clock backwards, wafting in the stench of Warnock with a vengeance - and we are not just talking about the inclusion of Shit Brown.

Apart from Brown, a whole host of Warnock's foot soldiers either started or were introduced from the sub's bench. Podgy Kenny, young Byram, old Warnock Junior, Useless Lees, Pearced as a newt, Ruddy Austin, McCormack, Reg Varney, Hell Hadji and Peltier - that's 12 Warnock men in total who featured. No Smith, of course, he was suspended, but also no Wootten, no Mowatt, no Poleon, no Murphy, no Zaliukas, no Complete Hunt; in fact the only kids or newbies that featured were the two loanees. The Leeds Board must be wondering why they shelled out all that money - no wonder GFH Capital said enough is enough!

And whilst it is true Leeds showed more fight than at Rochdale and Sheffield Wednesday, you would expect a reaction of sorts wouldn't you? And if you want "fight" then Warnock players can generally be relied upon for that; but if you want class, well it's going to be more 'under class' than aristocracy with Warnock's bruisers isn't it?

And so it proved. Warnock's Warriors huffed and puffed but failed to blow the Leicester house down, and then Leicester delivered the almost inevitable sucker punch late in the game. Mind you, it's one hell of a sucker punch when you lose to a Nugent goal - who has all the finesse of a Trabant! And from a pass by O.A.P. Phillips no less. Ouch!

So where does McDermott go from here? He claimed Warnock had left a poor squad behind, but in time of need, he turned to Warnock's men, which makes him look just a little bit silly - or absolutely desperate!

Meanwhile, Old Big Gob will be offering advice from beneath his replanted Banyan tree in Cornwall and smiling broadly at Friar Brian's team selection. "Crap squad?", he might well ask, "Well if I signed crap, what does that say about the players McDermott has brought in, given my lads are better?"

Revolution, what revolution? one might  well ask!

Would Bates be a better bet for Leeds than GFH Capital?

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. At West Ham we know all about false dawns and botched take-overs, but Leeds United seem to have got it all down to a fine art and cornered the bloody market! With the Sport Capital deal looking less likely by the day, the nightmare of Leeds remaining in the ownership of the Bahrain Bank Built on Sand becomes not just a possibility but a probability. And if Carling did Arab Owners, they certainly wouldn't do this bunch of hard up misers!

The news that GFH Capital blocked the move for Barnes is nothing short of terrifying. Friar Brian has climbed squarely into the Haigh and Hunt boat, and if it sinks, he's going to be deep in the Swanee without a life jacket. All aboard the Leeds United McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership Europe, Infinity and Beyond my arse!  The bridge is down, and poor McDermott is driving the train full steam ahead into potential oblivion.

If the  Sport Capital take-over collapses, what course is open to Nice Guy Brian other than to resign? All along he has talked about team work, of pulling together in the same direction, of working for a Board that was giving him marvelous backing.  Now that argument won't wash. Now even the most blinkered Leeds fans must accept that the Bahrain based bank are a cancer in the club and poor McDermott must recognize that he received more support from the Reading board on the day before he was sacked than this lot are going to give him in a century of Ramadans. They are in it for the money and they don't have the money to provide the impetus that Leeds United need to move forward.

Still Cellino is in the wings I suppose, you know the guy who lacked the financial muscle and credibility to outbid the Dildo Brothers when they bought West Ham. And if that comes to nothing, there's always Master Bates. I'm sure he would like nothing better than to take back ownership of the club!

Are Manchester United following Liverpool into oblivion?

Dear God, not content with surrendering the title, Moyes' Mancs have now contrived to exit the Capital One Fan Cup at the hands of Blunderland - and over two legs at that!

So, it is official. Manchester United's domination of the English game has passed into history, just like Liverpool's. This weekend's results drove the final nail into both team's title pretentions and there's no way back for either of them in the title race now.

But there the comparison ends. Liverpool look as if they are on the way back, and Rome wasn't built in a day. Brendan Rodgers has done a superb job this season and if a Champions League place can be secured this season, and if Suarez decides to stick around and dive to ground, then the renaissance may be completed some time over the next two years.

However, a crisis is unfolding at Old Trafford. The defeat at Chelsea will simply confirm for many that Mourinho, not Moyes, should have succeeded Ferguson, and the Chosen One, as opposed to the Special One now faces a huge mountain to climb if he is going to restore credibility.

One glance at the table tells you how bad the situation is. Tottenham sit in fifth, six points ahead of the floundering Mancs, and Tottenham sacked AVB because of a poor first half of the season. If it's not good enough for Tottenham, why the hell is it good enough for Manchester United? True, results have improved under Timmy, but that just adds grist to the mill for those wanting Moyes to take an early exit. And meanwhile, Everton, under Moyes' replacement, are also ahead of his jack-knifed juggernauts, rubbing acid into the already red raw wounds.

And it's not as if a quick fix presents itself. Ferguson left behind an imbalanced squad, with key players ageing. Scholes was never replaced, Rio in his prime was better than any of the centre backs presently in the squad, and Giggs has gone over the top at long, long last. True RVP has been sorely missed, but since when have Manchester United been dependent on one player?

Meanwhile, the shadow of Ferguson spreads itself over the Old Trafford pitch as the former manager shakes his head in disbelief in the stand. Fans are calling for his return, but the only way forward is probably for him to be asked to stay away from the ground. But you can't do that to a god can you?

Moyes has won precisely nothing in the game and the Manchester United super stars know that. When he switches on the hair-dryer, players who have achieved far more in the game than he has simply shrug their shoulders and think, "Like you know anything about winning!"

Comparisons have been made with Ferguson's slow start at Old Trafford, but Ferguson took on a sleeping giant and awoke it from it's slumbers; Moyes is taking on a team that is drifting in to a coma!

And if qualification for the Champions League is missed, the crisis will simply deepen. RVP back to Arsenal anybody; or to Manchester City? And Rooney to Chelsea? And let's be honest, Januzaj apart, none of the others will have a queue of top teams wanting to sign them, will they?

Now, let's see how committed the Glaziers are, shall we? One big signing will not be enough; for Moyes to be a winner he will need five, or six, or seven or...

Saturday, 18 January 2014

McDermott resorts to Warnock's men but Leeds still lose

Oh dear, talk about hitting the panic button! After arriving like a breath of fresh air, Friar Brian has apparently lost his nerve and today turned the clock backwards, wafting in the stench of Warnock with a vengeance - and we are not just talking about the inclusion of Shit Brown.

Apart from Brown, a whole host of Warnock's foot soldiers either started or were introduced from the sub's bench. Podgy Kenny, young Byram, old Warnock Junior, Useless Lees, Pearce, Ruddy Austin, McCormack, Reg Varney, Hell Hadji and Peltier - that's 12 Warnock men in total who featured. No Smith, of course, he was suspended, but also no Wootten, no Mowatt, no Poleon, no Murphy, no Zaliukas, no Complete Hunt; in fact the only kids or newbies that featured were the two loanees. The Leeds Board must be wondering why they shelled out all that money!

And whilst it is true Leeds showed more fight than at Rochdale and Sheffield Wednesday, you would expect a reaction of sorts wouldn't you? And if you want "fight" then Warnock players can generally be relied upon for that; but if you want class, well it's going to be more 'under class' than aristocracy with Warnock's bruisers isn't it?

And so it proved. Warnock's Warriors huffed and puffed but failed to blow the Leicester house down, and then Leicester delivered the almost inevitable sucker punch late in the game. Mind you, it's one hell of a sucker punch when you lose to a Nugent goal - who has all the finesse of a Trabant! And from a pass by O.A.P. Phillips no less. Ouch!

So where does McDermott go from here? He claimed Warnock had left a poor squad behind, but in time of need, he turned to Warnock's men, which makes him look just a little bit silly - or absolutely desperate!

Meanwhile, Old Big Gob will be offering advice from beneath his replanted Banyan tree in Cornwall and smiling broadly at today's team selection. "Crap squad?", he might well ask, "Well if I signed crap, what does that say about the players McDermott has brought in given my lads are better than his?"

Sunday, 12 January 2014

Is the Leeds United slump down to Haigh's takeover and the new players?

Hold on, don't explode until you have read the full article. I am not suggesting that the takeover is, per say, wrong, nor that Kebe and Stewart must take personal responsibility for the six goal tonking at relegation threatened Sheffield Wednesday yesterday - that would be absurd, not least because they were signed to enhance the attacking play, not to shore up the defence. But it probably is not a coincidence that with talk of the new take over and the signing of new players, the performance of the team has dropped off the edge of a cliff.

Before Haigh announced that he was riding in as the latest Whites' Knight, things were going swimmingly. Leeds were winning at home, drawing away, and moving up the table. A place in the play-offs looked more rather than less likely, and a tilt at automatic promotion didn't look impossible either.  And the Leeds United McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond was tooting merrily as it rattled its way through the Championship backwaters.

Now I have taken some flack for using that metaphor, but its significance is now becoming apparent. From the very off, McDermott's strategy was based on team work, cooperation and the feel good factor. Time and again he talked about the Board, the fans and the players working as a unit; and he praised, and praised and praised. The Board were offering great support, the fans were offering great support too and the players were a great bunch. It was all smiles. All positivity. All about the McFeelgood Factor.

And then along came Haigh with his promise of new signings.

Now put yourself in the Leeds dressing room. You have been signed by Warnock and find yourself with a new manager with new ideas. But up until now, that manager has sung your praises and, apart from drafting in a few new players, has backed you to the hilt. Money is tight so the prospect of a flood of new players arriving is slight. In fact, McDermott even pledges not to sign players on loan when the August window closes because he prefers players with a long term commitment to the cause.  How do you feel? Good I would imagine. Secure probably. Grateful certainly. Committed unquestionably. You want to play for this club and this manager: Leeds, after all, have a great history and even on a bad day 18,000 rock up for home games.

But then Haigh throws his take over pebble into the tranquil waters. Suddenly there is talk of new players and, on the back of a disappointing result or two, McDermott suddenly changes horses in mid season, abandoning the White Charger with the "Be Happy" motif, and climbing aboard the Black Beauty with the "Not Good Enough" banner instead.

Well how do you feel if you are one of the Warnock players? You look around the dressing room and think, hang on, even Byram can't get into the team because this guy has his own ideas about the side. Warnock comes out and claims he has left a good squad behind, and McDermott refutes the suggestion, effectively saying he left behind a pile of shit. Hang on, you think, a month ago I was part of a "great bunch of players", now I'm not good enough. I've run through walls for this guy! I've given by absolutely very best, game after game for this guy! And this is my reward!

What about McCormack? He has pledged his all to Leeds and signed a new contract. Then in comes Kebe, a Jimmy Come Lately, on higher wages! And Stewart! And God knows who else over the next fortnight. At first it is two or three players who are needed, then it is three or four, and then there's talk of five or six - and McDermott is talking about shipping out players too, with Reg Varney probably on the first bus to the old Third Division and young Poleon offered a skateboard to oblivion too. These guys are your muckers, your mates, your team mates, members of that "great bunch of players" who carried the club into the play offs.

Now divisions appear. Warnock probably chats to Reg Varney, Shit Brown and Hell Hadji on the phone - just friendly advice you understand for players he likes and respects. Podgy talks about what happened at QPR when there was a takeover and Warnock was shown the door. Young Byram mutters about how Warnock turned him into a target for Manchester City, yet he can't get into McDermott's first eleven. Warnock Junior complains that he didn't turn down West Ham and the Premiership to sit on the Leeds United bench.

And then Leeds have to go to Rochdale on a miserable day in January. Well stuff that!

Go back to that great McDermott promotion charge at Reading and only one player was signed in January and the team that thumped West Ham at Upton Park at the end of March was almost identical to the team that hammered West Ham in early December. That formula worked at Reading and it was working at Leeds right up until Haigh announced the new take over.

Understand now why I have been talking all season about the Leeds United McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond?

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Phil Hay might like to rewrite this morning's article after Leeds crash and burn at Sheffield Wednesday

Oh dear, has any article been so badly mistimed since Carole Malone's journalistic assassination of Princess Diana which appeared in print on the morning of the People's Princess's actual assassination by MI5 (if a certain ex Fulham chairman is to be believed).

How hollow does Hay's Yapping Post article read now? Clearly expecting a reaction at Wednesday, Hay staked all on Leeds rising, Lazarus like, from their Rochdale ashes. He sang McDermott's praises in this morning's article, suggesting that the new signings would transform the club's prospects, and used the immortal line, "Rochdale was abysmal, truly abysmal. But the response this week makes it forgivable".


At West Ham, we were struggling to come to terms with a nightmare week, but instead of bringing in new players, Allardyce simply sorted things out, got what remains of his injury ravaged first team out onto the pitch and somehow orchestrated an excellent 2-0 victory away from home, despite losing Demel to a horrific injury after 10 minutes and Tomkins to an absurd red card early in the second half.

And this was a West Ham team featuring Leeds United reject George McCarthorse, Relegation Johnson and Carlton No Goals, who McDermott could have snapped up for nothing at any point over the summer and first month of the season; except the Bald Controller preferred Total Hunt instead!

Allardyce has his critics, of course, but unlike McDermott, he prioritised. With Hay claiming that Ruddy Austin isn't crap, just "shattered", he fails to explain why the under fire skipper wasn't rested at Spotland. West Ham shipped five at Forest, but Allardyce rested virtually the entire first team in that game and sent kids to the slaughter; McDermott, for some reason known only to himself, risked McCormack, Austin and a host of other first team players at Rochdale, and still the once mighty Leeds were humbled by the Lancashire minnows.

Hay claims, "That’s the reality of problems; you either fix them or you drown in them, and through a concerted effort by Leeds to better themselves, this has been a good week". Well if that's a good week, one wonders what's going to happen in a bad one!

Leeds United promotion train pulls into Manchester instead of Sheffield

Oh dear God. What happened there then? The Leeds United McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond must have been re-routed (as in route as opposed to rout - no hang on as in rout as opposed to route!) to the Etihad instead of Hillsborough by mistake!

With Leeds fans who visit this site still gloating over West Ham's mauling by Manchester City, McDermott's Merry Men have only gone out and lost by exactly the same score! Nobody saw that one coming did they?

True Leeds came in to the game without a win in any of their last five games and on the back of a humiliating defeat at fourth division Rochdale, but fans remained upbeat, especially after the capture of Kebe and Stewart on loan at the end of last week. Surely now the promotion train would pick up a head of steam as the Bald Controller ordered everybody on board and blew his whistle for the second half of the season.

After all, this is now McDermott's team! The ghost of the Warnock has been exercised, with Kebe, Stewart, Wootten, Smith, Murphy, Hunt and Zaliukas all signed by Friar Brian and young Mowatt brought through from the youth team. Dear God, that means McDermott could field a team with only three of Warnock's players if he wanted to - and that could include McCormack, Podgy and Byram.

But the ugly truth is that the players brought in seem to be  little better than the players Old Big Gob left behind. Hunt can't get near the team - and with very good reason. Wootten is showing exactly why Manchester United didn't want him. Smith is tall and puts himself about a bit (a bit too much today it seems!) but is raw and nowhere near Premiership quality. Murphy is average. Zaliukas is, well, Lithuanian! And Kebe and Stewart are no great shakes which is why Palace and Hull don't want them!

Look at the table and you see Leeds down to eleventh place and whilst that still represents "steady progress" on last season, it is not what the majority of Leeds fans were hoping for at the start of the season, and not what they were expecting two weeks before Christmas.

The automatic promotion places, which were within reach five games ago, are now an impossible dream and even the playoff places are a win and a draw away, with a clutch of clubs in a better position to capitalise on a slip up by sixth placed Brighton than Leeds. And more worrying still, this six goal thrashing means that Leeds have the worst goal difference amongst the teams in the top 13 positions!

Of course, there was an excuse of sorts today, with the dismissal of Smith, but Leeds have failed to beat 10 men this season and West Ham showed at Cardiff today that ten men can outscore eleven if they are properly organised and have some quality in the ranks. So really, the red card argument doesn't wash. the dismal truth for Leeds fans is that, for the second game in succession, the team performed abjectly, displaying not only a lack of quality but, more worryingly, a lack of desire and spirit.

And most depressingly of all, it was not Manchester City who hammered six goals past Podgy, but Sheffield bloody Wednesday - hardly the Barcelona of even the Championship!

Leeds fans are rightly getting restless. They turned on McDermott at Rochdale and their mood will be ten times worse tonight. Poor Friar Brian seemed to understand from the off that keeping the "vile animals" on board was imperative, but with the McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express well and truly wrecked today, he faces a huge challenge if he wants to rattle through to promotion on a runaway train of optimism.

But Leeds fans must hold their nerve. Rome wasn't built in a day, and even Revie struggled early doors. Friar Brian needs time. Although Warnock will be enjoying a chuckle tonight, and though sacked by Wednesday, Dave Jones will no doubt be raising a glass in celebration too!

Friday, 10 January 2014

Leeds United's 49ers Tie Up is Surely 9 Months Too Late!

WTF? Why are Leeds announcing a tie up with the 49ers now? Surely this should have happened 9 months ago when the average age of the squad under Old Big Gob Warnock was 49 and three months!

Here comes Kebe - exciting times for Leeds!

So Stewart has already joined until the end of the season, and now Jimmy Kebe is being added to the ranks, on a loan now, maybe buy later deal.

No issue with the signing, Kebe is a quality Championship player and has something about him. Just ask Jack Collison who reacted to Kebe pretending to pull up his socks in mid dribble by trying to kick the then Reading man into row Z. In return, Collison was shown a red, West Ham were reduced to nine, and Reading went on to win 3-0.

However, the deal does seem odd in one respect, namely the commitment to buy IF Leeds get promoted. Surely that is arse about face? Kebe is not Premiership quality, as Crystal Palace have discovered, so why on earth buy him on your way up and not if you stay down?

That needs a rethink I would suggest!

However, these are positive times for Leeds. Chuck in a half decent forward and the Leeds United McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond could pick up a new head of steam!

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

West Ham an object of ridicule from QPR to Watford to Tottenham to Leicester and all the way up to Leeds!

Well here we go then guys.

This week has been one of the most chastening in my 44 years as a West Ham United fan. There have been many bad times over those years, with 44 years of hurt tempered only by two FA Cup wins, a third placed finish in the top division and some near misses in a League Cup and FA Cup final. But despite all the pain, my blood has run Claret and Blue throughout, having been born to a West Ham fan and even cruelly passing the curse on to my own unfortunate son (who aged nine announced he supported Manchester United before being toured around the local orphanage!).

But what defence can be offered after the last two games? Allardyce has plumbed new depths of humiliation and shame and the owners must surely now understand that we will be playing football in the Championship next season unless four or five quality players are brought in fast.

Roger Johnson? That says it all doesn't it? Loaned to a Premiership club - for now - by a team in the old Third Division!

So, this thread is here for all you Leeds, QPR, Watford, Tottenham and QPR fans to gloat and taunt and tease. Everything will be published, provided it is not obscene.

Bloody hell, things are so bad I might even welcome Zola, Warnock, Pearson, AVB, Oneday Ramos, Sparky Hughes or Timmy Sherwood to the club!

West Ham should speak to Paul McGowan's solicitors urgently

So St Mirren player Paul McGowan has got away with assaulting two police officers, picking up a non custodial sentence of 130 hours unpaid work and a one year supervision order.

That sounds like a result to me, and with Tomkins accused of assaulting police officers whilst resisting arrest outside an Essex night club, the club should be asking how the hell McGowan's solicitors got away with it.

Of course, McGowan was sentenced in Scotland, and kicking coppers in the body is possibly a more common occurrence north of Hadrian's Wall, but if a no mark Scottish player can avoid gaol on the basis of his footballing career, surely a great of the game like James Tomkins will receive lenient treatment too.

Until his brief asks for JT's criminal defending to be taken into account when sentencing of course!

Somebody at Leeds should have bought Andrew Flowers a diary for Christmas!

An interesting statement from confirmed Consortium member, Andrew Flowers. Quoted on the club's official site, Mr Flowers said:

“I’m delighted to confirm that I am part of the consortium that will be acquiring the major shareholding in the club. As a lifelong Leeds United fan and as a businessman, I can assure other fans, that while the process is being finalised, we have been working hard to ensure that our due diligence was completed as quickly as possible and that there are funds in place ahead of completion to support the manager during the opening weeks of the January transfer window.”

Well according to the information at the bottom of my computer screen, today's date is January 8, so we are already into the second week of the window - and nobody has been signed thus far and the takeover itself has not yet been completed.

The cynical amongst us may begin to suspect that the takeover will be completed closer to January 31st than January 1st, and that excuses will then be given for not being able to act in this window - the right players weren't available, the figures quoted were too high, we have taken a view that it would be better to keep our powder dry until the summer, no point in rushing in and regretting afterwards...It would have a very familiar ring to it wouldn't it?

Of course, Haigh, Flowers et all may deliver. A new player may arrive tomorrow, the takeover may be signed sealed and delivered tonight or tomorrow or the day after; and white pigs may be flying over Elland Road before kick-off in the next home game as part of the pre match entertainment.

In the meantime, somebody should be yelling at Haigh and Flowers through a megaphone: "It's January 8, we are into the second week of January already. Every point counts. Pull your bloody fingers out!"

Monday, 6 January 2014

McDermott Following in Revie's Footsteps at Leeds

How fickle are football fans? A month back Friar Brian was the dog's bollocks at Elland Road, with fans falling over themselves to sing his praises. But three disappointing league results and a reality check exit from the FA Cup has stirred up the impatient natives.

Whilst travelling West Ham fans sang "We're shit and we know it" through the humiliating thumping at Forest, the Leeds United travelling "vile animals" turned on the Bald Controller at the end of the Rochdale game, and like a pack of dogs snarled and snapped and howled and foamed at the mouth, venting their bile in the direction of the man who is doing his level crossing best to steer the Leeds United McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond.

But the Now Now Now generation of shallow grave fans might like to look back to the reign of the late great Don Revie - and I'm not just talking about that unforgettable Crawford cream crackering at Colchester United. It took the Don three seasons to get Leeds into the Prem, and poor McDermott is a little over six months into his project.

Bloody hell, even Noruddychance dismissed talk of promotion back in October; now, all of a sudden,  McDermott's Merry Men are expected to win every time they take to the pitch. Yes, of course, the defeat at Rochdale was embarrassing, but so what? These things happen. Even to that great Revie side. If Lorimer, Giles, Bremner, Charlton and company can lose to a team in the bottom division of the league, why is it such a disaster when a team featuring Peltier, Pugh, Podgy and Pearce do the same?

And look at the other games. After Forest's hammering of West Ham's kids, the narrow defeat at the City Ground doesn't look so bad does it? And whilst the less knowledgeable Leeds fans expected a victory at home to Blackburn, the fact that the Whites had failed to overcome their Lancashire rivals in any of the last four meetings suggested differently. And anyway, what's so bad about losing to a team who, in their next fixture, drew with Unreal City? The draw at Blackpool was a decent result, so it was only the 0-0 draw against 10 man Barnsley that would constitute a shocker in the league. And as West Ham's 3-0 victory at Spurs shows, anything can happen in a local derby.

Look at the table and even after this little hiccup, Leeds sit in 8th place, just one point off the playoffs. What's so disastrous about that exactly? Ipswich and Brighton are only just above them in the table and that's on the back of their best run of results of the season. And as this Championship repeatedly shows, a run of victories is invariably followed by a run of defeats.

Did the fans turn on Revie when success didn't come immediately? Or when Colchester dumped the immortals out of the Cup? Did they hell as like! But fans had more about them in those days and accepted that you stick with your team through thick and thin.

Poor McDermott, he's done nothing wrong from what I can see, and he deserves better from the fans that he is working so hard to keep happy. Saturday was McDermott's worst day in football apparently, so he felt the humiliation even more keenly than he did his own cruel dismissal from Reading. That's not a man the fans should be turning on after one freak result is it?

How the rest of the English football wishes that today's Leeds United fans were on the terraces in Revie's first couple of seasons in charge!

Sunday, 5 January 2014

Everton show nothing has changed at QPR since Redknapp's appointment

Well 'Arry's 100% record in 2014 was exploded with a vengeance at Goodison. After the narrow and late, late victory over little Donny, hope surged through the veins of the gRRRRs, but with England's 666, Robert Green, rested, 'Arry's boys folded like an England cricket team in Australia. The gulf in class was huge: bloody hell, Jelavic scoring twice in a game is akin to club cricketer Smith scoring centuries in back to back tests against Anderson and co.

And this was an Everton team without a number of its star turns. 'Arry admitted Rangers were "well beaten today" and confessed "We struggled to live with them at times". Well, should QPR manage to negotiate their way back to the Prem, that doesn't bode too well does it?

What yesterday illustrated is that little or no progress has been made over the last 13 months since Redknapp took charge. Unassisted by McClaren, 'Arry's win percentage in 2013 was a disgraceful 23%, and when you consider the money he has spent, the wages that are being paid, and the ludicrous disparity between QPR's squad costs and the salary bills for the rest of the teams in the Championship, that is truly pathetic.

Of course 'Arry inherited a mess, but look at the players on duty yesterday and this was his team: Simpson, Arsehole-Ekotto, O'Neil, Phillips, Austin, Henry, Yossi and Kranjcar are all Redknapp mercenaries, and Barton was brought back from his French exile too.  Rarely has a manager been given such backing over a 13 month period.

The whole of football is watching, wondering how the Financial Fair Play Rules can be ignored with such impunity, and Fernandes must be wondering why his money has been "invested" in such crap. It was "only a Cup game" yesterday but it was also the QPR fiasco in a nutshell. 'Arry still has a 50% win percentage for 2014, but the team his side struggled to beat on New Year's Day shipped three goals at home to Stevenage yesterday - and lost. And I doubt that the combined wages of Stevenage's squad amounts to the wages of QPR's reserve keeper.

What a farce!

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Rochdale Minnows 2 Great Big Leeds United 0 - Bring Back Warnock!

What a disgrace! You can probably hear Warnock's guffawing in Leeds from deepest, storm tormented Cornwall. This time last season, Leeds were just shy of a play off place - just like this season - and launched a great Cup run that saw them hammer £100m Bale inspired Spurs. But this season? Well today's result was almost as bad as that epic Revie defeat at Colchester.

And it's not as if the Bald Controller picked a reserve team in order to save players for the more important business of finishing in the upper middle table of the Championship. Oh no, as the Churchill Dog might say if an opponent asked for insurance against a broken leg with Shit Brown in the Leeds starting eleven. McCormack was risked; and so was Smith; and Byram; and Murphy; and Austin; and even Podgy Kenny. Anybody expecting the second Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb to be drafted in to save first team legs was sorely disappointed.

And to what end? Rochdale, like Colchester in 1971, are in the bottom tier of the Football League so today's result would have been embarrassing even if the kids had played; but with a team so close to the first eleven selected, it was nothing short of humiliating. This must be one of the greatest day's in Rochdale's history!

And it's not as if Leeds were unlucky. The shot count was 19 to 11 in Rochdale's favour, Rochdale had twice as many corners and twice as many shots on target. Statistically, this was a comprehensive victory.

To keep things in context, this was the first time Rochdale have reached the Third Round since 2005 and until today, Leeds had a 100% record against the genuine Lancashire minnows.

Steady progress? The Leeds United McFeelgood Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond came off the rails with a vengeance today and the mutterings of discontent will start to build up a head of steam if Friar Brian doesn't turn things around pretty fast.

Still, the good news is that Warnock is still kicking his heels in Cornwall!

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Furious Manchester United to sack Webb after Tottenham Hotspur debacle

What the hell? Not only did the Sherminator's Spurs roll over the once mighty Manchester United in the Theatre of Wet Dreams, but Ferguson's favourite employee ignored two very decent claims for Manchester United penalties and failed to add on any additional time with the Mancs still pressing for an equaliser.

Sir Alex himself was unavailable for comment, but a source close to the Scot said:

"You only had to look at the former great gaffer's face as he watched the game to know what he was thinking. He has always been proud of the special relationship he has with Mr Webb and would unquestionably feel bitterly disappointed by the referee's performance out there."

"It was clear to every Manchester United fan in the stadium - with the exception of Mr Webb it seems - that two penalties should have been awarded and, under normal circumstances, we would have expected a red card to be shown to Lloris too."

"Quite what Mr Webb was thinking of, it is difficult to imagine. Perhaps he got confused seeing David Moyes calling for penalties and, in his mind, imagined that the claims were being made on behalf of Everton - and Mr Webb would never give a penalty at Old Trafford to a team from Liverpool of course."

"That is the only possible explanation. But there can be no going back now. Mr Webb will almost certainly lose his retainer and the club will probably object to his officiating any future Manchester United games. His decisions have, in all probability, cost us a tilt at the title this season, and such misdemeanours will not be tolerated."

Moyes, himself, did not hold back raging:

"It was scandalous! If you follow through on a player anywhere else on the pitch with your foot high, it would be a sending-off and a red card. You couldn't do that anywhere else. The goalkeeper comes out, Ashley Young gets the ball before him and he follows through. It's an incredible decision which didn't go our way, in fact probably the one of the worst I think I saw."

Luckless Leeds Slip to Eighth as Automatic Promotion Bid hits the Buffers

How cruel is the game of football? Just when Leeds fans thought everything was going swimmingly, along come back-to-back defeats at Nottingham Forest and at home to Blackburn; and to make things worse, Burnley, QPR and Leicester all recorded victories, effectively knocking McDermott's Merry Men out of the automatic promotion race.

Of course, eighth place has an uncomfortable ring about it, being the exact position that a certain blogger has predicted that Leeds will finish in. True it would represent progress on last season, and Noruddychance was predicting nothing better not so long ago, but after the recent Leeds charge up the table, it would be a very disappointing return for the fans come the end of the season.

The defeat at Forest was excusable, but the defeat to Blackburn is a bitter disappointment and brings the Lancashire underachievers up onto Leeds United's shoulder. More worrying still is that Brighton, who Leeds beat on the opening day of the season, are now above McDermott's men in the table - as are Ipswich despite a home draw with Charlton. The next game at Sheffield Wednesday now takes on huge importance because, should Leeds lose that, they will settle back into mid table - and Warnock will be smugly saying, "See no real progress has been made since I left."

And McDermott has now clarified that he does, in fact, want FOUR new players if the club can source them. The fans played their part again today, with a gate of over 30,000, but if Friar Brian is right the new owners are going to have to open the transfer coffers - and quick.

But for any Leeds fans feeling depressed, let me assure you that it could be worse - you could support West Ham United!