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Thursday, 24 January 2013

Chelsea Propose Rule Change to FIFA But New Leeds Owners Are Not Sure

How tiresome that the game of football has not moved on. Ever since the formation of the Football Association there has been this narrow view that the game should be played with a small round object called a football but surely in the C21st it is time to think again. Poor Chelsea, how unfair is it that, after spending so many millions on players, they can't beat a little Welsh team like Swansea? And why? Because the £45m striker Torres can't put that stupid round ball into the net!

Well last night, Chelsea unveiled a new revolutionary version of the game. Why kick a ball, when you can kick a ball boy instead? Speaking after the game, Rafa Benitez explained: "Everybody in the world of football are liars. Everything said about me is lies. Even this quotation is lies."

He continued: "Our owner has pumped so much money in to this sport and should have the right to determine the rules. Footballs are stupid slippery things. They skid around the ground and move far too fast for the slow of thought like Torres, the heavy legged like Terry and the wide of girth like Lampard."

"Young Hazard showed the way in the game last night. Why kick a football when you can kick a ball boy instead? Mr Abromovich can source any number of orphan Russians who would be only too glad to be kicked by multi millionaire footballers. We see this as a great new innovation for our game."

"Our fans would love to see this introduced and it would offer great opportunities for disadvantaged young people to break into the game. And John Terry is anxious that we should not be discriminatory so perhaps we should use black boys. I know that would go down well in Spain!"

The new owners of Leeds United were not available for comment because they are unavailable to comment on everything. However, Old Big Gob expressed reservations saying, "Chelsea wouldn't be saying this if they had a team of pensioners like me. How are players in their mid thirties going to catch the ball boys in the first place? I would rather stick with my current tactics of kicking opposition players instead."

32 comments:

  1. as my 7 year old would say "epic fail" on your attempt at humour

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  2. how was the game last ass wipe

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  3. was a great result for you last night hahahaha

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  4. Arent you Gunner comment on West Spams result last night.. you prick.

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  5. Haha! That just brightened my morning up!

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  6. Up The Arsenal.....

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  7. And all this from the same armchair hammer who called for his own manager to get a "good kicking" in his w,ham blog last night. It won't cause a furore though,due to the fact that no true hammers fan reads his w,ham shite.

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  8. The West Ham thrashing by Arsenal puts the bubble blowers in serious risk of a relegation battle.

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  9. This post just gave me cancer

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  10. nonesense article.stupid reporter

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  11. Why do you always go and spoil yourself with complete drivel like this? You write something witty and honest with a few good points and then follow it up with trash like this awful effort! Firstly "little Swansea" ? They a very good football team with good players and a manager that prides himself on football not like your beloved Big Sam. And secondly you had to slip Leeds into your latest ramblings, your obsessed! You've manged to slate 3 different football clubs here just remember your a West Ham fan? And you have never won anything!

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    1. Understand the proper usage of the word you need. The best way to do that is to sound it out. There is a replacement test that will tell you for certain which word will fit. Read the sentence with "you are" in place of where the "your/you're" is intended. If it makes sense, then "you're" would be right. If not, then "your" would fit. You could also replace "your" with "my" in the sentence. If it fits, then use "your."

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  12. This blog is not about football or anything related to it. Its about you spouting off bollocks about anything and stupidly linking it to your pet hates with gormless headlines. Self gratification. Pathetic boring and garbage! You really have lost the plot. MOT PS I read it because of I'm concerned about you Liam!! MOT

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  13. Kicked up the rear big time by the Arsenal last night mate FACT! Strange that you appear to have taken on the mantre of the Arsene Whinger and apparently didn't see anything! Outplayed, outclassed, and outspoken you gobshi#te. FACT Super Leeds you jellied eel, pie and mash, apples and pears faced dick van dyke reject. FACT

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  14. sad and unfunny

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  15. Yet more drivel.

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  16. One would have thought that the Armchair Hammer would be lying low after the hiding his team recieved last night? A game witnessed at first hand by Armchair Hammer from his sofa in Romania.

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  17. West ham got dicked last night that bad on of there players needed to lie down for 10 mins,leeds r a bigger club than you and thats why ur jealous, when was west hams glory days?? Oh i for got you aint had any coz ur shite?

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  18. You journalists are all the same...twisting everything and anything possible, because let's face it, that's because you have nothing of real substance to write about do you?

    Anyone with minimal of intellect can see that he did not try and kick the ball boy, and in fact simply tried to kick the ball out from underneath him, which he actually did, but because you couldn't see the ball, it looks like he's kicking the boy.

    The ball-boy was clearly trying to waste time, and then simply did what most footballers do best...over perform!

    Please, stop making up things and start writing about things that DID actually happen in the world.

    Thanks

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  19. But meanwhile at the Emirates.........

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  20. Listen come on HF you must be getting bored and restless writing this loads of Boll***s. I thought better of you, put some meat on your blogs, must be because West Spam got a bit of a spanking last night. W.A.C.C.O.E.

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  21. Lol, very funny

    MOT

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  22. This is one of the weakest LUFC wind ups you've done. Sometimes it's best to write nowt than write shite. But then again following WHUFC what else do you write about?
    Alfie Moon's got a new shirt ?
    brian4759

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    1. Here Here, Brian 4759, W.A.C.C.O.E

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  23. GHF will be picking up bargain buys from West Ham after that performance. Sad Sad Hammers....

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  24. Still hung up on giving Leeds fans stick. You are a joke...........What was your result last night again? I guess its easy to give us Leeds fans stick when you get hammered like you did last night! It's just a shame you can't use proper English to do it! Did you ever go to school because it wouldn't seem that way!!! starting a sentence with "and" proves how much of a retard you are!!!

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  25. Absoloute numpty!

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  26. you must be really hardcore,upseting the chelsea like that and they are so near by,and the tots and i forgot QPR,why do you keep doing it? you know you risk everything and for what,surely your attention seeking can not go on forever,if you truely cared for your family like you claim you do,you would stop this sillyness.jan 21...21;13,...threats to stab me and my family...thats what you wrote yes? strange,most men would place their family ahead of one,s own self....but i forgot you are hardcore after all.

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