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Friday, 17 May 2013

Hopes of Leeds fans dashed as Beckham announces his retirement

What a blow. After playing for some of the greatest clubs in the world - Manchester United, Real Madrid, LA Galaxy and PSG - some Leeds fans cherished the hope that Golden Balls might bring down the curtain on his glittering career at Elland Road. But sadly that is not to be.

One disappointed fan in Golden Acre Park lamented: "I've come to this park today in honour of David. I really did think he might come to Leeds as a player coach, forming the perfect team with Brian McDermott. They are both such nice guys."

Another fan, watching the cricket in a Currys superstore, added: "It would have been a great way to put one over on the Scum and prove that we are still one of the biggest clubs in the world. They took Cantona off of us, how good would it have been if we had pinched Beckham back? I've very sad at David's decision."

Talking outside Kirkstall Abbey, a third fan said: "I don't understand David's decision. He would have felt at home in the Leeds dressing room. Thanks to Warnock, most of the players are around about his age!"

And one of many fans spotted urinating in the wind complained: "I have it on good authority that David desperately wanted to join Leeds and the only thing that stopped him was Ken Bates. We are hugely disappointed but with the financial muscle of GFH Capital behind the club, we are confident of signing six or seven world class players over the summer. And then, who knows, David may have a change of heart."

44 comments:

  1. You talk utter garbage,you might think you are joking but even as a joke we don't want the SCUM bastard at ER.
    Let him and his pathetic circus fuck off to China or somewhere a million miles away.

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  2. You really are a sad case aren't you.

    Making up shit just to have a dig at Leeds, or is it that you can't avoid it because of your obsession with us.

    Please fuck off and annoy another team, after all you said you were only posting about us because of Bates & Warnock & they have gone.

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    1. Bates has gone? He doesn't think so!

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    2. i've been reading your shitty blog for quite some time now....sometimes your actually quite good but most times its pathetic but i must say this is the worst you have come up with,you take the piss but your team is just as bad as ours.i know your in the premier league but only to make up the numbers get a grip fella and start talking about your own crappy little west ham coś no one else does and you think its funny but really it aint we dont give a toss about you lot and im finding it hard to think of a reason why you would care about us

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    3. sadly he has in the head

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  3. Get a life you sad bastard

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  4. You know what, I thinks hammersfan is a frustrated writer of fiction, after reading all the harry potter books he has had a few manuscripts rejected so finds the only way to get any attention is by trying to goad Leeds fans.
    Like when children do not get the love and nurturing attention from parents they learn to get attention any way they can. Hammersfan's mum obviously didn't love him so he learnt to get attention by behaving like a little twat, something he still does to this day!

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  5. I have to give you it this time mate, it made for good, enjoyable reading and I can see the creativity in your writing throughout. Do you not think you should improve the intimacy with 'The Hammers' instead of publishing work upon work about the one, the only 'Leeds United'? Your writing may be good but my English Literature class made sure that mine was better. Alright kiido?

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  6. considering your club has actually tried to sign him (sorry I should say, made out you were trying to sign him just like with andy redrum carrol) you probably shouldn't make silly stories like this up,go play with the traffic or some used hyperdermics instead

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  7. Its a bit early for drinking,which you clearly have been, this posting is your worst of the year 1/10,Happy retirement to Golden Bollocks and fuck off to you for talking it.

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  8. WOW what a story, well done..

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  9. Come on guys, lighten up. The blog had to acknowledge Beckham's retirement. Being associated with such a great of the game should be seen as an honour.

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    Replies
    1. But its not even a bit funny.......

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  10. Hehe amusing....... To think there are actually people like you around, makes me kinda reassured I'm normal.

    I used to like wet spam as my Dad supports them but now I dislike them intensely and as a spam fan you must be a bit depressed knowing that you don't need to check above half way on the league table any weekend for your teams position, you are the new Blackburn and going the same way they have boing boing

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  11. David Beckham - not - he is about as talented at kicking a football as you are - muppet

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  12. Just why???? Do you really get satisfaction from writing that drivel? Poor, very poor indeed.

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  13. hahahahaha - nice one HF! funny that folk on here can rarely spot your tongue stuck in your cheek!! mind you, I reckon a humour by-pass is not a good survival strategy for any Leeds fans. Its the close [silly] season so I'm sure there will be more of this coming our way. It's also the time of massive optimism for next season - I'm sure we'll cope without DB! MOT

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    1. Have to agree AllWhiteNow - as a Leeds fan I thought this was quite amusing - shame about the knee jerk reaction of most

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    2. To be honest I think it's quite a poor attempt at tongue in cheek/ humour, it's just another way of feeding his ego with hits, he says he wants to recognise him and his achievements but why put Leeds in the title? Hits for his own self importance

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    3. Jesus Christ, how can anybody with just a smattering of brain cells find this bollocks funny ? Come on guys !!

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    4. AGREED TOTAL KNOB

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  14. You`re not even funny anymore

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  15. Ya need to think of some better jokes,old timer!

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  16. At least your writing about a good team rather than the hammers.

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  17. Nice One HF, funny satire, with local knowledge! class!!

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  18. A great of the game? what planet are you on?

    Great southern softie/hairdresser/fashion show kind of greatness
    One of your lot, not surprised you like him

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  19. Thank You for giving me a laugh,so early in the morning.

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  20. Would you be hard enough though to repeat this world class journalism verbally at a packed pub in Beeston? When you are, let us know.

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    Replies
    1. Beeston in Nottingham?

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  21. He covers some ground in his wheel chair to get around Leeds interviewing people.
    What a hero this Wet ham supporter is.

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  22. ha ha ,, beckham's from your neck of the woods, he's a typical Essex moron , keep him down there with the rest of the euro trash

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  23. Well he does charity work; may be a little young for us though. I hear Sullivan has offered him work in one of his films as, apparently, the pitch is not the only place that WH players have trouble performing

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  24. A poor article, Corey.

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  25. You remind me of a kid I went to school with who got bullied a lot he craved the attention that much he use to call names and run off !!! To him the beatings were better than no attention !!! So if it is you Harry Gimply I'm sorry for giving you a fat lip and playing my part for the way you turned out !!!! ps I hope the sex change went well face book me the lads would love to catch up on the good old days

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  26. I think he is quite funny in a lonely single man type of way. Keep it up.

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  27. What a waste of time reading this shit. Your ratings are going down.

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  28. Dude, I'm sure it gives you great pleasure to knock an article out in five minutes and see its been read a thousand times and irritated 95% of those reading it, but really and honestly, is that fulfilling to you? Do you enjoy tormenting people, and then reading their angry responses, some of which let's face it are quite comical themselves?
    I'm guessing the answer is no, you are just trying to get as many hits to your blog as possible by writing articles that torment your readers, which in turn will increase the number of replies you receive. Eventually, you will present stats of the number of hits your blog's received to a professional agency, in the hope of being offered a payed regular small slot in some publication or other.
    If this is the case good luck to you, I dare say the people reading and angrily replying to your pieces are themselves fairly dense in not realizing that they are actually fanning the flames of the fire they claim to despise.
    But if you had any sense you'd surely realise that some of your readers actually like your more insightful, less derogative articles, and that you'd have far more success without resorting to such pathetic measures as insulting a club, city and its fans?

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your considered reply, but this is just a bit of fun. Why take it so much to heart?

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  29. For all you Leeds fans wondering why Hammersfan keep picking on your so called once great club, just look above at the reaction he gets regularly from most of you, your a bit sensitive. By the way anyone know the Leeds v Forest score at E.R from a couple seasons back.

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    Replies
    1. I know the score at the city ground in October 2011. think it was 4 nil?

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  30. Guys, calm down. He's clearly trolling to get a reaction for you. Hammersfan 1 - 0 Leeds fans

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