The Game's Gone Crazier

For all the latest on the exploits of Uncle Festa, Godfather Cellino, Friar Brian, Old Big Gob, GianFredo Zola, Butterfingers Green, 'Arry the Albatross, The Grand Puppet Master, Il Duce Di Canio, Timmy Sherwood and a cast of thousands!

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Sherwood wins the Tottenham Hotspur shoot out at the OK White Hart Lane Corral

You could hear the spurs jingle as Sherwood and Levy strode into the middle of the road at dawn and twitched their fingers over their Colt 45 packed holsters. The faint hearted closed their shutters and dropped to their knees to pray, whilst the town's undertaker took visual measurements and made a mental note of the appropriate coffin according to which man fell to his knees holding his gut. Levy stared, but Sherwood stared harder.
"Van Gaal?", snarled Timmy. "This town aint big enuff for Van Gaal an' me."
"But Timmy", protested Desperate Dan. "This cow pie is big enough for the both of you!"
"I aint sharing no pie!" growled Timmy. "It's the 'ole pie or no pie at all for me. So what's it to be?"
"Give me a second," pleaded Dan.
"Give you a second and you'll take a few more days!" Timmy spat. "I aint 'avin it. It aint right. It's the 'ole pie and nuffin but the pie till deaf do us part."
"But it's a big pie Timmy!" protested Levy. "It may be too big a pie for you alone!"
"It weren't too big for 'Arry, an' if it weren't too big for 'Arry it aint too big for me!"
"But look what happened to Glenn Roeder! The West Ham pie was too big for him after he replaced Harry."
"I aint Glenn Roeder!" yelled touchy Timmy. "I'm Timmy Sherwood!"
"But Timmy, the pie is huge. Truly huge. Look what happened in the West Ham game."
"Yeah but look at what 'appended in the Souffampton game!" Timmy retaliated.
"We won because of an own goal!" protested Dan.
"We won because we scored free goals!" argued Timmy. "But enuff talking. Talking aint goin' to resolve nuffin. So what's it to be? Is it the 'ole pie or no pie. I aint messin'. I aint bein' disrespected."
"Ok, ok! I give in Timmy. Don't shoot! The job is yours!" blubbed Levy as he contemplated two highly winnable home games against West Bromwich Albion and Stoke City. Six points, he calculated, could put us right back in the running.

And the two men went their separate ways. Timmy to prepare a team for the West Brom game, and Levy to phone Van Gaal to tell him that the job is his in the summer; unless he wants it sooner!


  1. please post about your team,
    have you no shame

  2. Merry Christmas spam dangler! X

    1. Same to you. And a happy New Year to you and your family.

    2. And to your family too!