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Thursday, 24 October 2013

Leeds United Go Lithuanian!

The imminent arrival of Marius Zaliukas reminds me of a trip I made to his homeland a few years back. Travelling around the heavily forested nation, I was stopped for speeding twice in the space of an hour. The first time was probably a fair cop - it was a country road and I came face to face with a speed camera after cruising around a gently curving bend in my rental car. After pleading innocence, I was obliged to donate the equivalent of £20 in Lita to the local police benevolence fund.

An hour later, it was a completely different story. I was stopped on a motorway with Lithuanian drivers bombing past me in the outside lane. When I was told that I had been filmed driving at 100 kilometres per hour, I replied that as I was on a motorway with a 100km per hour speed limit, I couldn't understand why I had been stopped. The Lithuanian policemen smiled and replied: "Yes on most motorways that is the case, but on this stretch of motorway, it is 80km per hour." He then proceeded to ask for £1,000 as a fine, which we negotiated down to another £20!

As I was getting out of the car, the copper asked why I was in Lithuania, and when I replied "For a holiday" he raised an eyebrow and said: "On holiday? In Lithuania? You should have gone to Hawaii instead!"

Well now the tables are turned! I hope a copper stops Zaliukas and, after giving him a ticket for speeding asks, "What exactly brings you to Leeds?" And when the Lithuanian replies "To play football", I trust the copper will reply, "Play football? In Leeds? You should have gone to QPR instead!"

44 comments:

  1. If he's pulled in leeds then it's a strong possibility the copper is a leeds utd fan don't you think! So don't think they would have that conversation you silly looking idiot

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    1. The copper was Lithuanian and it didn't stop him saying what he said did it?

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    2. What a tool

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  2. Most pointless article ever - why do you continue to waste valuable web space? Ah yes, of course, to get attention at no matter what cost - forget integrity. Written by a non Leeds fan about their holiday, tenuously linked to a player we haven't even signed yet. Your life must be very very sad indeed.

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    1. So why do you keep reading and replying?

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    2. to remind you that you're still a sad pathetic twat . and why do you keep writing about a club you don't support or like ? ......also you said you chose us for the season ( last season ) i might add , to follow ......but here you are again : ( ......ya like a clinker

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    3. cos your a cock who keeps blogging about MY team u fuckwit

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    4. Wow the Mighty Quinn is replying to this blog! Or is it the mighty quim?

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    5. "Wow the Mighty Quinn is replying to this blog! Or is it the mighty quim?"

      Can't win the argument so you resort to ad hominem. And so quickly. In future please try and answer some of the questions posed to you before taking your ball home. But then that would take some balls wouldn't it JackHammer?

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  3. Queef connoiseur

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  4. Putrid phlegm examinor

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  5. Pretty bloody funny HF, I like the principle!
    good to have a bit of humour....

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  6. Obtuse mould magnate

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  7. I really can't understand you sad bar stewards! HF tells quite a humourous clean joke and you resort to these pathetic crass two word slogans! What kind of ambassadors of Leeds are you? Your a disgrace and embarassment to the genuine folk of Yorkshire!

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    1. That's meant to be "you're", not "your" What a pompous charlatan you are Jack Hammer. No wonder you have difficulty understanding.

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    2. And you're a pathetic disgrace to humanity posting in support of this racist, homophobic hatred inciting fraud of a football supporter.

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    3. Nice one Jed, "you're" a legend. Oh, by the way, why are you named "jed shed"?

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  8. Jesus, the Internet is wasted on you...

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  9. Very good HF, your last few posts have been off the boil but that did make me smile. Everyone else who takes offence should stop taking it too seriously.

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  10. you funny (and a supporter of Baltic police corruption)

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  11. VIDEO: Anger as West Ham fans turn on own Muslim supporters as they pray under main stand

    THIS is the "disturbing" moment when West Ham fans turned on their own Muslim supporters as they prayed just before half-time at Saturday’s match against Manchester City.

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    1. I suggest you find a little more about this if I was you.

      Several things annoyed people about what happened with that, as I am sure, being a supporter, sometimes chants can get out of hand. I presume you are a Leeds supporter, if that is the case, glass houses and all that springs to mind.

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  12. No one cares about your boring stories from your sex tourism trips

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  13. Strange article, and yet another rather poor attempt at a wind up! Bless

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  14. Well he came to leeds for 2 reasons hf.one we are a massive club,much bigger than a tin pot club called qpr.second and most important,he might get pitch time,which i dont think he would at qpr....but why do u live in romania,and dont say its cheap.so is lidl,but i dont live in there.

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    1. Do you know the definition of massive?

      exceptionally large.
      "massive crowds are expected"

      Your average gate is 25009 of 39,460 capacity stadium. I am not sure Leeds are massive, at the moment at least

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  15. Why are you concerned about who we sign? this kid is an excellent prospect and fits in with our current remit of discovering and signing talented youngsters.
    Something perhaps Wet sham should do instead of trying to buy success. I genuinely feel its unlikely you will survive more than 2 seasons in the prem. See how good you look in the big stadium that's empty then when all your piss poor signing have left ! Please take your shit blog somewhere else its proper boring

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  16. Your funniest post to date! Haha

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  17. To the two guys who have attempted to post their homosexual fantasies about giving oral sex to a uniformed officer at the side of the road - may I suggest you check out other sites on the net. I really cannot host your graphic fantasies on here guys, but good luck. Just be careful where he puts his truncheon!

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    1. more interesting than your sad and boring fantasy, like you`ve ever been to Lithuania. You`ve never even been to a football match in england

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    2. Ha ha ha ha

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    3. 1512, you must have a sad life. Lithuania is a short flight away so quite why I wouldn't have been I cannot imagine. We stayed in a dreadful hotel in Kaunas and travelled down to Vilnius. Have also been to Riga in Latvia in middle of winter and "surfed" on the frozen Baltic, before building a snowman on the beach. How weird is that? Mind you it was minus 20 without the wind-chill factor. So bloody cold I had to buy a silly hat to stop my ears snapping off! Try getting out a bit. There's some wonderful experiences to be had if you escape the UK!

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    4. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING

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  18. Nice fantasy but you`ve never been anywhere or done anything you sack of shit

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  19. you lying bastard

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  20. The only place you've visited recently is Jimmy Savile's grave to lay a wreath of flowers.

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  21. So then, let's get the ball rolling spam dangler, whats your predictions for the west ham game and the Leeds game this weekend? Please enlighten me on your thoughts!

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    1. Didn't think you would predict, you're spineless as normal!

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