The imminent arrival of Marius Zaliukas reminds me of a trip I made to his homeland a few years back. Travelling around the heavily forested nation, I was stopped for speeding twice in the space of an hour. The first time was probably a fair cop - it was a country road and I came face to face with a speed camera after cruising around a gently curving bend in my rental car. After pleading innocence, I was obliged to donate the equivalent of £20 in Lita to the local police benevolence fund.
An hour later, it was a completely different story. I was stopped on a motorway with Lithuanian drivers bombing past me in the outside lane. When I was told that I had been filmed driving at 100 kilometres per hour, I replied that as I was on a motorway with a 100km per hour speed limit, I couldn't understand why I had been stopped. The Lithuanian policemen smiled and replied: "Yes on most motorways that is the case, but on this stretch of motorway, it is 80km per hour." He then proceeded to ask for £1,000 as a fine, which we negotiated down to another £20!
As I was getting out of the car, the copper asked why I was in Lithuania, and when I replied "For a holiday" he raised an eyebrow and said: "On holiday? In Lithuania? You should have gone to Hawaii instead!"
Well now the tables are turned! I hope a copper stops Zaliukas and, after giving him a ticket for speeding asks, "What exactly brings you to Leeds?" And when the Lithuanian replies "To play football", I trust the copper will reply, "Play football? In Leeds? You should have gone to QPR instead!"