The Game's Gone Crazier

For all the latest on the exploits of Uncle Festa, Godfather Cellino, Friar Brian, Old Big Gob, GianFredo Zola, Butterfingers Green, 'Arry the Albatross, The Grand Puppet Master, Il Duce Di Canio, Timmy Sherwood and a cast of thousands!

Thursday, 31 October 2013

Opportunity knocks for Leeds courtesy of fixtures for Watford, QPR, Leicester, Derby, Burnley, Nottingham Forest and Blackpool

The home fixture against Yeovil presents Leeds with a great opportunity to get right back into the promotion mix. True the Glovers surprised everybody with an impressive 3-1 win over Nottingham Forest last weekend, but with the fixture list presenting difficult games for Burnley, Leicester, QPR, Derby, Watford, Nottingham Forest and  Blackpool, there's every chance that the once mighty Whites could be at least tapping on the promotion door come 5pm on Saturday.

The key for Leeds is the pairing of so many of the contenders in games against each other. The fixture between QPR and Derby is particularly fascinating given McLaren has recently switched from the Hula Hoops to the Rams. Some gRRRs are already questioning whether it was McLaren or Redknapp who orchestrated the early season push for the top, and should Derby win this one, the voices of dissent will grow. Redknapp had the audacity after the Wigan game to claim that the Latics had the bigger squad, seemingly forgetting that he has bought Phillips and Austin for big money, welcomed back Barton, and brought in a host of other players on permanent deals or loans. QPR should be romping to the Prem with their squad, but instead remain alarmingly goal shy, with the last two games failing to produce a single goal in the opposition's net. Best result for Leeds? A 0-0 draw.

The Watford v Leicester game is another six pointer, and should the Hornets lose this one, questions will surely be asked about Zola. Again, here is a manager blessed with an outstanding squad when judged against rivals in this division, and yet Watford have gone backwards since last season. Leicester, meanwhile, are on a roll and tails will be up after that epic victory over Fulham. Best result for Leeds would probably be a Watford defeat as it could mark a phase of soul searching at Vicarage Road with the up to now popular Zola beginning to come under the microscope.

Then Forest entertain Blackpool and any result would probably suit Leeds in this game, given the realistic target at this stage is a play off place. If Leeds beat Yeovil, they will be closer to one or both irrespective of the final result.

And, of course, Burnley's claret was knocked over by West Ham on Tuesday, meaning that they will travel to Millwall a little less confident. And I fancy Lomas's Lions to tear them apart.

The table doesn't look great at the moment, but come 5pm on Saturday, Leeds should be on the shoulder of the play off pack. And then, who knows, the Leeds United Feel Good Factor Sleeper Express to the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond could really pick up steam!

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Have West Ham just done QPR, Leeds, Leicester & co a massive favour?

Well until last night, Burnley were looking pretty damn undefeatable and were threatening to run away with the division, putting together a run reminiscent of Reading's two seasons back. But then along came West Ham and urinated in the Claret, and there is now every chance that the Burnley bubble will prematurely burst.

Those who try to suggest that West Ham were fortunate to win the game are missing the point. This was very much a second string West Ham side, made up of kids and reserves for the most part. Ruddock, Potts and Chambers are only just out of nappies and can only eat well mashed up solids, so it is no wonder Burnley had a few chances over the course of the game, but even with against a kindergarten defence, the mighty pairing of Ings and Vokes couldn't muster a goal between them.

And in the second half, following the introduction of Collison and Downing, followed by Nolan, West Ham totally bossed the game.

So, Burnley have suddenly been reminded what defeat tastes like, and with Treacy dismissed for taking out Collison as the Welshman steadied himself to knock the ball into an unguarded net, the Clarets are already carrying a hang over into the next match. And that match, at Millwall, now takes on huge significance because a second defeat on the trot would send alarm bells ringing around Turf Moor.

Burnley fans will argue that the Cup is an irrelevance but confidence is a brittle thing, and West Ham may have just snapped Burnley's last night. Which would be great news for all the Championship clubs currently trailing in the Clarets' wake.

An example for QPR, Leeds and the remainder of the Championship

So Burnley are running away with the Championship. Interesting. And according to Leeds and QPR fans who respond to this blog, West Ham are heading for the drop. Interesting again. Well, on the basis of last night's game, there's not much point in any side winning promotion from this season's Championship then because the gulf to the Prem is patently huge!

West Ham took to the field just 48 hours after playing Swansea. A combination of reserves and kids were selected. The management had precious little time to prepare, with a journey from Swansea to London and London to Burnley involved in completing the back to back fixtures. The West Ham team included Potts, Chambers and Ruddock, three young kids. There were nine changes from the starting 11 against Swansea and both Diame and Tomkins, the two retained, were substituted to save their legs. And West Ham utterly dominated the second 45 minutes.

It's true that two penalties were required but both penalties were conceded to prevent goals being scored, and the referee was kind to the Clarets when producing only one red card. In the twenty minutes building to the first goal, poor Burnley could not get the ball, chasing shadows to such an extent that you would think West Ham's stiffs were Barcelona. So how the hell are Burnley top of the division?

From a West Ham perspective, it was all very pleasing. The three kids look good and may well have a future. Maiga didn't look out of his depth - perhaps THIS is his level. Collison and Downing combined well when brought on. Adrain looked our best understudy keeper for a few seasons now. And there's the consolation that if we were to go down, even selling the major wage earners, we should storm the Championship!

As for QPR, Leeds and co - God help them if they do get up! Because, like Burnley, they will then find out what the Premiership is really about!

Saturday, 26 October 2013

"How I F***Ings blew it at QPR" - New Chapter Added to Redknapp's Autobiography!

Instead of appearing on the One Show and endless other promo events for his latest "Nice little earner", perhaps 'Arry should have spent more time at the training ground, preparing his charges for the top of the table clash with little old Burnley, the club he stole Charlie Austin from.

But then who needs Austin when you have a guy called Ings?

Poor 'Arry was so talked out that he couldn't even make it to the post match press conference, passing the buck to Kevin Bond instead; who then came up with the classic line, "It was always going to be a tight game and one goal was probably going to be enough" - which is an interesting observation given Burnley scored twice!

So the Hula Hoops are down to third and will be in dire, dire trouble if they do not win promotion given the ludicrous wage bill the club is carrying.

Financial Fair Play anybody?



Leeds United's Yo-Yo Club Status Confirmed

Maybe I am mixing my metaphors after reading Friar Brian's post match comments. Maybe instead of a Yo-Yo club, Leeds should be hailed as a Two Step club, or as the Bald Controller says, "One step forwards, one step back."

Regardless, just like last season, Leeds are establishing a pattern of climbing to eighth one week, before slipping back to tenth the next. Win your home game and lose the away fixture that follows, and you bob up and down like a cork in a swell, and don't actually go anywhere.

After all the excitement generated by that tonking of Birmingham, the Leeds United faithful climbed aboard the Feel Good Factor Sleeper Express to Huddersfield, the Premiership, Europe, Infinity and Beyond fully expecting a repeat of last year's triumph over the once mighty Terriers - only to end up swallowing yet another dose of bitter reality. For all McDermott's positivity, this Leeds team is no better than the one left behind by Old Big Gob Warnock.

Still, the serial killer came off the sub's bench, just as I predicted, and scored Leeds' second goal - exactly as I predicted. Sadly, I didn't reckon on Huddersfield netting three times.

So it's back to the drawing board. Can Leeds play three at the back away from home? Maybe not. Will McDermott give it another go for the next home match? Probably. But formations are largely irrelevant if the squad isn't good enough, and the evidence suggests that this lot are no better than a mid table outfit.

Still, looking on the bright side, if results go right, Leeds could Yo-Yo back up to eighth next week!

Leeds set to park serial killer on the bench at Huddersfield.

Who needs the Yorkshire Ripper when you have Dexter? And who needs Dexter when you have just slaughtered Birmingham?

Surely Friar Brian will not upset his Merry Men by changing a winning team against Huddersfield. Dexter has been brought in to add a cutting edge to the side, but everything clicked perfectly last game out, so his introduction against Huddersfield from the start seems like an unnecessary risk. If it aint broken, don't fix it!

So surely Dexter will be on the bench at kick off, though should Leeds be goalless after 70 minutes, it's a fair bet that the Forest reject will be introduced. And if it's 1-1 with 10 minutes to go, I back McDermott to twist and go for the winner.

My prediction? 2-1 to Leeds with Dexter scoring five minutes before the end!

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Leeds United Go Lithuanian!

The imminent arrival of Marius Zaliukas reminds me of a trip I made to his homeland a few years back. Travelling around the heavily forested nation, I was stopped for speeding twice in the space of an hour. The first time was probably a fair cop - it was a country road and I came face to face with a speed camera after cruising around a gently curving bend in my rental car. After pleading innocence, I was obliged to donate the equivalent of £20 in Lita to the local police benevolence fund.

An hour later, it was a completely different story. I was stopped on a motorway with Lithuanian drivers bombing past me in the outside lane. When I was told that I had been filmed driving at 100 kilometres per hour, I replied that as I was on a motorway with a 100km per hour speed limit, I couldn't understand why I had been stopped. The Lithuanian policemen smiled and replied: "Yes on most motorways that is the case, but on this stretch of motorway, it is 80km per hour." He then proceeded to ask for £1,000 as a fine, which we negotiated down to another £20!

As I was getting out of the car, the copper asked why I was in Lithuania, and when I replied "For a holiday" he raised an eyebrow and said: "On holiday? In Lithuania? You should have gone to Hawaii instead!"

Well now the tables are turned! I hope a copper stops Zaliukas and, after giving him a ticket for speeding asks, "What exactly brings you to Leeds?" And when the Lithuanian replies "To play football", I trust the copper will reply, "Play football? In Leeds? You should have gone to QPR instead!"