Exciting developments at Hull, with the club moving with the times and changing their name to improve branding opportunities. Bored by old fashioned Hull City, Egyptian owner Assem Allam has decided to incorporate the club's nickname into the official title of the club. No doubt the City will be dropped altogether in due course, and Hull will become Hull Tigers or simply, The Tigers.
Wolverhapton Wanderers led the way some time ago, of course, with their name readily abbreviating to The Wolves and Tottenham are known as The Spurs. For some clubs, this new trend will be very simple to adopt. Should the Dildo Brothers adopt West Hammers, it may upset the purists, but The Hammers versus The Tigers has a feisty ring about it for the Sky marketing boys. Arsenal Gunners also works easily of course. Southampton Saints is another good one and the Glasgow clubs already operate as Rangers and Celtic.
However, for some clubs, the nickname doesn't have the right ring about it. Leeds Whites may be deemed racist or cowardly. Leicester Foxes has a mangy sound about it. Liverpool Reds works, I suppose, but isn't very exciting and other clubs might argue they have as much right to the name. Everton Toffees doesn't sound terribly imposing, does it? And Newcastle Toons sounds a bit too Looney Tunes even for a club that has a slapstick feel about it 99% of the time. As a contributor says below, the real nickname is The Magpies, and that could work I suppose but it doesn't really sound aggressive does it?
So what names might clubs adopt into the future? Leeds Cloggers works for me or the club could go the whole hog and opt for either Damned or Bastard United. Liverpool Cheats has a nice ring about it, given the commitment to retaining Suarez and the number of benefit claimants residing in the city.
How about Leicester? Well given the car park excavations, maybe the Leicester Hunchbacks could work. The Newcastle Barcodes also works, given all the players have a price under Ashley, or maybe the Newcastle Frogs would be more suitable given the composition of the squad and the way the team croaks every time they get a sniff of a trophy.
Any other suggestions?
How about West Ham Nil?
ReplyDeleteSounds fitting.
West Ham "mates of Brooking, get away with murder, never won the league" united
DeleteTottenham are simply Spurs, not The Spurs.
ReplyDeleteNewcastle's official nickname is The Magpies rather than The Toon or Toon Army - and I think you might mean Ashley rather than Shepherd.
Oops, that was odd! Will correct.
DeleteLOL Very good Martyn.
ReplyDeletehow about fred west ham...full of vermin
ReplyDelete"The Newcastle Barcodes also works, given all the players have a price under Shepherd"
ReplyDeleteWhat planet are you living on? Shepherd went in 2007.
How about you are talking utter S H I T E. How long is it since Shepherd left Newcastle?
ReplyDeleteWhat? You'll be telling me Keegan has gone next and that Shearer is no longer leading the line!
Deletethought you would be watching the cricket in the land of prince bishops
ReplyDeletewest ham racists has a ring about it
ReplyDeleteBenefit claimants in Liverpool. What decade are you living in you misguided, Thatcherite, taccini wearing, mulletted, spunk bucket plasterer?
ReplyDeleteLiverpool Walton 7.7% unemployed, Bootle 7.8% unemployed. This decade!
DeleteBootle is not in Liverpool arse bandit.
Deletewest ham arse bandits,now theres a monicker that would suit
ReplyDeleteHow about West Ham "The Pornshop" United!!! Or even,West Ham"The Let's play,Players we don't own fc".OR even we are skint Ham!all good names for me.
ReplyDeleteGet your facts right before publishing rubbish like this
ReplyDeleteShowing us the way its not rugby league sort ur heads out
ReplyDeleteRugby League, Rugby Union, Cricket...Sky will be in favour and what Sky wants, Sky gets!
DeleteWest Ham Wankers has a nice authentic ring to it.
ReplyDeleteblah blah blah along with the total nonsense regard McCormack ... he is staying............. where do read the rubbish you come out with .... get back to Womens weekly you nonce
ReplyDeletewest ham are already the silly moos
ReplyDeleteAlf would approve.
DeleteTroll
ReplyDeleteGet as many teams as possible in the title to generate as many hits as possible , a rather lame tactic Neville but desperate times call for desperate blogging I suppose , talking of desperate how's the wife ??
ReplyDeleteHere are all the new look team names:
ReplyDeleteArsenal - The Gunners
Aston Villa - The Villans
Cardiff - The Bluebirds
Chelsea - The Blues
Crystal Palace - The Eagles
Everton - The Toffs
Fulham - The Cottagers
Hull City - The Tigers
Liverpool - The Reds
Manchester City - The Citizens
Manchester United - Red Devils
Newcastle - The Magpies
Norwich - The Canaries
Stoke - The Potters
Southampton - The Saints
Sunderland - The Black Cats
Swansea - The Swans
Tottenham - The Spurs
WBA - The Baggies
West Ham - The Hammers
New names? Sod off they are NICKNAMES
DeletePlease, please can you refrain from calling Fulham 'cottagers'
DeleteA tad racist in parts, not to mention a wee bit prejudice. Calling the french at newcastle frogs, or saying its a slap stick. What about Man utd, Brothers wife shaggers for giggs, or Chelsea the racist lovers, or the reserve shooters just for Ashley cole bringing a gun to the training ground and shooting a player. Sunderland, well under di canio you could now call them the Fascists.
ReplyDeletewhat a load of shite a west ham fan with an opinion now that's a story to tell as didn't think any of the gobshites had a brain to opinionated one ass bandits the lot of em
ReplyDeleteHow about the Leeds Cliches?
ReplyDeleteDidnt realise you were a branding consultant?
More appropriate name for West Ham would be "the wankers"
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't bother with a nickname for Wet Spam, I would just ignore em Nev, just like your students do with you. Ps, can you fix my computer when you have finished watching the next generation?
ReplyDeleteNo matter what the story you always have to get your favourite team, Leeds United, in it. How about bursting bubbles for wet ham.
ReplyDeleteWhat were "Snickers" once called? I heard a rumour that Revels might be changing their name but please don't quote me on this. An anagram of WEST HAM UNITED Comes up as SHIT TEAM NEWS But your left with two letters. U and D. that could stand for "usualy dire" I guess?
ReplyDeletejust glanced at your articles since your return.......funny thing......no mention of millwall,even with an old westhamutdonceproudclud man in charge your still to scared to go to press with anything that might upset the millwall and you once laid claim to being hardcore...funny thing that.
ReplyDelete