The Game's Gone Crazier

For all the latest on the exploits of Uncle Festa, Godfather Cellino, Friar Brian, Old Big Gob, GianFredo Zola, Butterfingers Green, 'Arry the Albatross, The Grand Puppet Master, Il Duce Di Canio, Timmy Sherwood and a cast of thousands!

Friday 9 August 2013

Hull City Tigers show Leeds, Leicester, Newcastle, Liverpool, Everton and others the way!

Exciting developments at Hull, with the club moving with the times and changing their name to improve branding opportunities. Bored by old fashioned Hull City, Egyptian owner Assem Allam has decided to incorporate the club's nickname into the official title of the club. No doubt the City will be dropped altogether in due course, and Hull will become Hull Tigers or simply, The Tigers.

Wolverhapton Wanderers led the way some time ago, of course, with their name readily abbreviating to The Wolves and Tottenham are known as The Spurs. For some clubs, this new trend will be very simple to adopt. Should the Dildo Brothers adopt West Hammers, it may upset the purists, but The Hammers versus The Tigers has a feisty ring about it for the Sky marketing boys. Arsenal Gunners also works easily of course. Southampton Saints is another good one and the Glasgow clubs already operate as Rangers and Celtic.

However, for some clubs, the nickname doesn't have the right ring about it. Leeds Whites may be deemed racist or cowardly. Leicester Foxes has a mangy sound about it. Liverpool Reds works, I suppose, but isn't very exciting and other clubs might argue they have as much right to the name. Everton Toffees doesn't sound terribly imposing, does it? And Newcastle Toons sounds a bit too Looney Tunes even for a club that has a slapstick feel about it 99% of the time. As a contributor says below, the real nickname is The Magpies, and that could work I suppose but it doesn't really sound aggressive does it?

So what names might clubs adopt into the future? Leeds Cloggers works for me or the club could go the whole hog and opt for either Damned or Bastard United. Liverpool Cheats has a nice ring about it, given the commitment to retaining Suarez and the number of benefit claimants residing in the city.

How about Leicester? Well given the car park excavations, maybe the Leicester Hunchbacks could work. The Newcastle Barcodes also works, given all the players have a price under Ashley, or maybe the Newcastle Frogs would be more suitable given the composition of the squad and the way the team croaks every time they get a sniff of a trophy.

Any other suggestions? 

36 comments:

  1. How about West Ham Nil?

    Sounds fitting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. West Ham "mates of Brooking, get away with murder, never won the league" united

      Delete
  2. Tottenham are simply Spurs, not The Spurs.

    Newcastle's official nickname is The Magpies rather than The Toon or Toon Army - and I think you might mean Ashley rather than Shepherd.

    ReplyDelete
  3. how about fred west ham...full of vermin

    ReplyDelete
  4. "The Newcastle Barcodes also works, given all the players have a price under Shepherd"

    What planet are you living on? Shepherd went in 2007.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How about you are talking utter S H I T E. How long is it since Shepherd left Newcastle?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What? You'll be telling me Keegan has gone next and that Shearer is no longer leading the line!

      Delete
  6. thought you would be watching the cricket in the land of prince bishops

    ReplyDelete
  7. west ham racists has a ring about it

    ReplyDelete
  8. Benefit claimants in Liverpool. What decade are you living in you misguided, Thatcherite, taccini wearing, mulletted, spunk bucket plasterer?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liverpool Walton 7.7% unemployed, Bootle 7.8% unemployed. This decade!

      Delete
    2. Bootle is not in Liverpool arse bandit.

      Delete
  9. west ham arse bandits,now theres a monicker that would suit

    ReplyDelete
  10. How about West Ham "The Pornshop" United!!! Or even,West Ham"The Let's play,Players we don't own fc".OR even we are skint Ham!all good names for me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Get your facts right before publishing rubbish like this

    ReplyDelete
  12. Showing us the way its not rugby league sort ur heads out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rugby League, Rugby Union, Cricket...Sky will be in favour and what Sky wants, Sky gets!

      Delete
  13. West Ham Wankers has a nice authentic ring to it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. blah blah blah along with the total nonsense regard McCormack ... he is staying............. where do read the rubbish you come out with .... get back to Womens weekly you nonce

    ReplyDelete
  15. west ham are already the silly moos

    ReplyDelete
  16. Get as many teams as possible in the title to generate as many hits as possible , a rather lame tactic Neville but desperate times call for desperate blogging I suppose , talking of desperate how's the wife ??

    ReplyDelete
  17. Here are all the new look team names:

    Arsenal - The Gunners
    Aston Villa - The Villans
    Cardiff - The Bluebirds
    Chelsea - The Blues
    Crystal Palace - The Eagles
    Everton - The Toffs
    Fulham - The Cottagers
    Hull City - The Tigers
    Liverpool - The Reds
    Manchester City - The Citizens
    Manchester United - Red Devils
    Newcastle - The Magpies
    Norwich - The Canaries
    Stoke - The Potters
    Southampton - The Saints
    Sunderland - The Black Cats
    Swansea - The Swans
    Tottenham - The Spurs
    WBA - The Baggies
    West Ham - The Hammers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. New names? Sod off they are NICKNAMES

      Delete
    2. Please, please can you refrain from calling Fulham 'cottagers'

      Delete
  18. A tad racist in parts, not to mention a wee bit prejudice. Calling the french at newcastle frogs, or saying its a slap stick. What about Man utd, Brothers wife shaggers for giggs, or Chelsea the racist lovers, or the reserve shooters just for Ashley cole bringing a gun to the training ground and shooting a player. Sunderland, well under di canio you could now call them the Fascists.

    ReplyDelete
  19. what a load of shite a west ham fan with an opinion now that's a story to tell as didn't think any of the gobshites had a brain to opinionated one ass bandits the lot of em

    ReplyDelete
  20. How about the Leeds Cliches?

    Didnt realise you were a branding consultant?

    ReplyDelete
  21. More appropriate name for West Ham would be "the wankers"

    ReplyDelete
  22. I wouldn't bother with a nickname for Wet Spam, I would just ignore em Nev, just like your students do with you. Ps, can you fix my computer when you have finished watching the next generation?

    ReplyDelete
  23. No matter what the story you always have to get your favourite team, Leeds United, in it. How about bursting bubbles for wet ham.

    ReplyDelete
  24. What were "Snickers" once called? I heard a rumour that Revels might be changing their name but please don't quote me on this. An anagram of WEST HAM UNITED Comes up as SHIT TEAM NEWS But your left with two letters. U and D. that could stand for "usualy dire" I guess?

    ReplyDelete
  25. just glanced at your articles since your return.......funny thing......no mention of millwall,even with an old westhamutdonceproudclud man in charge your still to scared to go to press with anything that might upset the millwall and you once laid claim to being hardcore...funny thing that.

    ReplyDelete